Unfooled
by meliz875
Summary: A collection of seven 100-word drabbles written for Tricky Raven's 2015 April Fools Advanced Drabble Writing Challenges. Expect fun or angst or fun AND angst. Pairings/rating vary by ficlet.
1. Troublemaker

**Hello, all! I wasn't planning on posting these here, but I decided to go for it - mostly because I want to share them, but also because I wanted to make sure you guys knew that I am for sale…**

**Wait… _what_?**

**You heard right. Tricky Raven recently kicked off our third annual Author/Artist Silent Auction fundraiser. For a small donation, you can bid on yours truly and 19 other of your favorite wolfpack authors. What do you win? A oneshot written by your author of choice. The best part? YOU get to choose the idea. You get to decide what we write about.**

**Don't miss out! You can find the link to Tricky Raven on my profile page. You must be 18 or older to join. Tell them I sent you! ~meliz**

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**Pairing**: Quil/Bella (from my 'Wake The Earth' universe)  
**Rating**: K  
**Genre**: Family  
**Word Count**: 100  
**Prompt**: Photo of a cupcake ATM

_**Disclaimer**: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨'*✫

**Troublemaker**

Quil gaped from the doorway.

Bella, on her hands and knees, glanced up, eyebrow cocked, a warning to not say a word.

"I asked for five minutes," she muttered.

Quil grimaced. "The cakes?"

She shot him _the look_ again.

The frosting, meant for cakes for Junior's kindergarten graduation, _was_ in bowls...

Now, it was _everywhere_.

The silence as he watched the Mariners game was his first clue-which he ignored.

Bella was muttering again.

Quil sighed. "Where's our troublemaker?"

Looking up, Bella shook her head.

"Nope, not _ours_." Her grin reeked of payback. "_Your_ troublemaker. He's in the tub. Have fun."

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨'*✫


	2. Papa Palpatine

**Pairing**: Embry w/ Bella and Quil  
**Rating**: T  
**Genre**: Humor… I hope?  
**Word Count**: 100  
**Prompt**: "I would love to have an army of robot attack pigeons."

_**Disclaimer**: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨'*✫

**Papa Palpatine**

"_What the hell is an __Aluminum Falcon__?"_

In the kitchen, Embry gritted his teeth.

He fucking prayed for YouTube to crash. One miracle, that's it, because Quil-and-Bella Robot Chicken voiceover was _not _mentioned when Jake tasked them with babysitting duty.

"_You must smell like feet wrapped in leathery, burnt bacon!"_

Embry's silent lamenting disappeared amid hysteric giggles.

"_Now get your seven-foot-two asthmatic ass back here…"_

"_... or I'm gonna tell everyone what a whiny bitch you were about Padamame or Panda Bear or whatever the hell her name is…"_

"_Oh, geez, he's crying…"_

Embry groaned.

Papa Palpatine wasn't fucking far off.

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨'*✫

_A/N: So I turned robot attack pigeons into Robot Chicken ... and Star Wars. If anyone is interested in watching Bella and Quil's video, search "The Emperor's Phone Call Star Wars" on YouTube. :D_


	3. Static

**Pairing/Characters**: Embry/Unnamed Female  
**Rating**: T  
**Genre**: Angst  
**Word Count**: 100  
**Prompt 3**: High and Lazy by Bezt

_**Disclaimer**: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨'*✫

**Static**

He sits, staring at crackling black-and-white static.

The television picture flickered out hours earlier, but he does this-avoids the darkest hours and a bed resembling the square box in front of him.

_Empty_.

Nothing's there, no sign of life.

He avoids it. He doesn't sleep…

Not without her.

Not since she left months ago.

Instead, Embry sits, thumb sweeping over a quiet phone.

She still sleeps here… sometimes, when she doesn't find what she needs elsewhere.

He takes it-because he longs for rest.

He longs for her.

Just like the television picture, the static eventually fades.

Until then, he waits.

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨'*✫

_A/N: Have a nice, juicy, angsty idea like this for a story? I'll write it for you… if you bid on me… *nudgenudge*_


	4. Purge

**Pairing**: Bella and the pack  
**Rating**: T for potty-mouthed werewolves  
**Genre**: Er… friendship?  
**Word Count:** 100  
**Prompt**: "Damn, it feels good to be a gangster" needlepoint

_**Disclaimer**__: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨'*✫

**Purge**

"She's fucking crazy."

No one disagreed with Paul, but didn't blame Bella who, several yards away, made hamburger of the Mercedes Guardian gifted to her by the Cullens.

Before leaving, Edward told her to keep the car.

Jacob gave her a baseball bat, telling her to feel better.

Bella swung again…

The sound of shattering glass made them wince.

"Oh, man…" Jared grimaced, mourning the luxury sedan.

Bella paused, panting, her hair in disarray, searching for another target.

Jacob approached the pack from behind.

"She having fun?" he asked.

"Dude," Quil pointed, "She's going full Office Space on that car."

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨'*✫

_A/N: This could be fun to write, too… *winkwink*_


	5. Cling

**Pairing**: Paul/Leah  
**Rating**: M  
**Genre**: Drama  
**Word Count**: 100  
**Prompt**: Sergei Polunin dances to "Take Me to Church" by Hozier

_**Disclaimer**__: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨'*✫

**Cling**

"Is that what you want?"

Paul's voice rumbles across her flesh. Pushing, he pins her down.

Leah doesn't understand why this happens-why they always end _here_.

Still, she clings to him.

"He'd be good for me."

Her sincerity dissolves when hot fingers dig into bare thighs.

He doesn't believe her, but he says nothing.

Still, she hopes. Maybe he'll validate it-this desperate push and pull, this burning obsession.

"_You're_ no good for _him_," he growls into her neck. "You're too much… He can't… not like…"

He stops. He doesn't need to say it-he knows why.

_And, God, so does she… _

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨'*✫

_A/N: This one I may already be writing. Maybe… ;)_


	6. Midnight Snack

**Pairing**: Embry/Bella  
**Rating**: T  
**Genre**: Humor… sorta  
**Word Count**: 100  
**Prompt**: Picture of news anchors reporting on a "cheeseburger stabbing"

_**Disclaimer**__: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨'*✫

**Midnight Snack**

Bouncing anxiously, Embry huffs a sigh when the truck pulls in. As Quil stumbles from it, white paper bag in hand, Embry nearly weeps in relief.

"Dude, I'm sorry! The line was so long, and I just…"

"Shut up." He snatches the bag. "Did you get tacos?"

Quil gapes. "Dude. I don't have a death wish."

Embry ignores him-he's too grateful. "You're a good friend, Q."

"You fucking owe me."

Turning, Embry pushes through the door to the living room.

Fingers tapping on a swollen belly, it's not long before Bella reaches out, making grabby hands at him.

"Gimme."

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨'*✫

_A/N: I heart Quil… (^_^)_


	7. Inconsequential

**Pairing**: Leah/Quil  
**Rating**: T  
**Genre**: Drama  
**Word Count**: 100  
**Prompt**: "You Fckn Did It" by Jason Mraz

_**Disclaimer**: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨'*✫

**Inconsequential**

Sitting on the bed's edge, Leah feels empty, yet filled with words she wants to say.

_Can't _say…

In front of her, Quil moves slowly, gathering his things, giving her time to speak.

She won't—he knows that.

_He _screwed up. _He _said he loved her. _He _took what they had—something fun, inconsequential—and imagined it was more.

She told him that…

It _is _more, though. He didn't imagine it…

But she can't say what he wants—Sam made sure of that.

Still, she pleads.

"You don't have to do this."

Turning toward the door, Quil murmurs, "_You_ did this, Lee. Not me."

✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨'*✫

_A/N: That's it! Don't forget about the Silent Auction! Bidding is open until April 21. Whether it's one of these ideas, one of your own, or something completely different, one small donation could earn you a oneshot written by yours truly AND you'd help support what truly has become an online home for writers, readers, Twilight fans and wolfgirls (which can be YOUR home, too, if you're not already a member)_

_Love you all! :)_


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